PARENTING IS YOUR OWN JOB | Sam Smith, Author

 It goes without saying that mothers play an invaluable role in shaping their children's personalities, values, and futures. I recall a time when there were even contests to pick the "best mom"—similar to Miss America or Miss Canada—evaluating mothers based on the number of children they had and how successful those children turned out to be.

Personally, I believe that every mother—regardless of her education, background, or lifestyle—tries her absolute best to raise her children in the best way she knows how.

However, I have been confronting for years with unbelievable and unrealistic expectations from some mothers who seem to believe that other women owe it to them to care for and prioritize their children simply because they share the common title of "mother."

These expectations have reached an extreme point. Some expect fellow mothers to step in to take care of their sick children, donate organs, or even provide financial hand-outs. When these unrealistic demands are not met, they resort to attacking other mothers—virtually, verbally, mentally, and emotionally.

They criticize other mothers for spending their own hard-earned money on themselves rather than on someone else’s children. They compare their kids to others, resentfully asking why another family has opportunities they do not, or why another mom can afford things or trips that they cannot.

I am writing this article both as a mother and as a writer.

Every mother naturally wishes to build a wonderful life for her children and see them succeed. But meeting your children's physical, financial, and emotional needs is your responsibility—not the responsibility of other mothers or their children. If your child is sick, caring for them is your responsibility, alongside healthcare professionals doing their jobs.

Expecting another mother to refrain from traveling, shopping, going out, or enjoying her life simply because you or your child cannot do the same is not community support—it is projecting your own responsibilities onto completely uninvolved people to escape societal expectations.

Bullying and emotionally harassing others to cover for a personal lack of accountability for the children you chose to bring into this world or raise is unacceptable. It is no different than demanding that a random father hand over his paycheck to your family instead of spending it on his own. It is absurd, unentitled, and fundamentally abusive.