BEYOND THE BEDROOM DOOR

 In many societies, an extreme discomfort with discussing sex makes it a strictly forbidden topic, even within families. This is reinforced by the absolute rejection of any intimacy before marriage. The result is that countless married couples privately face severe bedroom problems but feel they have no one to talk to. With open discussion totally eliminated from the social sphere, they are left to believe this painful silence and sexual incompatibility are simply a "normal" part of marriage, leading them to stay in deeply unhappy unions.

The situation is compounded by a stark gender double standard. Men are often granted social license to talk, joke, or even boast about sex, while women are categorically forbidden to do so. This imbalance becomes weaponized in the event of a divorce linked to sexual dysfunction. In cultures that tie male identity to sexual performance, a man's problem is seen as a humiliating failure.

To swiftly cover their son’s perceived weakness, the husband and his family often launch a character assassination campaign against the wife. They immediately spread rumors—claiming the divorce was due to the woman's "bad behavior," "flirting," or infidelity.

In the tragic aftermath, both people are hurt, but the woman becomes the primary target of humiliation and social labeling. Her husband and his family work to block any chance of her starting a new life or relationship. Meanwhile, the husband, having successfully shifted the blame, is often free to quickly move on and remarry with his reputation largely intact.

We are even witness in many first-class societies that women who are married to a man way older than her for money are forced to stay in the marriage and if they decline, they face the money power of the husband. While it seems women in more free societies have a better situation, they are suffering from other hidden types of discrimination.

While this system of discrimination seems utterly outdated in 2025, it remains the daily reality for millions of men and women. Their suffering is not inevitable. It could be dramatically eased by allowing space for honest conversation—if not with family, then at least through access to confidential and non-judgmental health care providers and professional therapists.